Sunday, July 12, 2015

Close but no Martini

You might have heard the English saying (諺), "Close but no cigar (惜しい)." It means to come close to winning something, but not actually win.

In my case, "Close but no martini" seems more appropriate since I am trying to watch all of the James Bond in order without falling asleep.

My original plan was to simply enjoy each movie, from the original Dr. No (1962) to Skyfall (2012) in anticipation of the newest one Spectre in December 2015.

After falling asleep midway through Dr. No several times, though, I realized I had a serious problem. The whole series of movies is boring. And I really mean that. For all of the action - the chase scenes & the fight scenes, for example - and the beautiful Bond girls, there is an equal amount of slow moving plot lines and boring, awkward dialogue. Don't believe me? Think I am exaggerating? I dare you to try to watch one from the 60's or 70's late at night and make it all the way through two hours awake. 

Beginning with Dr. No all the way to Octopussy (1983) - well, actually Never Say Never Again, which came out later that year but was not released by Eon Productions - I have tried but failed to stay awake in one sitting.

I thought I had a good chance with A View to a Kill (1985) since it was the first Bond movie I ever saw in a movie theater. And I was doing pretty well until the very end when it seemed to take Bond forever to get to the bomb to save Silicon Valley. I was in La-La Land (寝る) while he was saving the day and making out with Bond girl Tanya Roberts.

But I'm not worried. I still have 10 more chances, and the movies have gotten far more exciting and cooler than before. 

I'll get that martini yet. Shaken, not stirred. 
John
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